Therapists’ experience points to the role of the psychologist as an important ally throughout the process of in vitro fertilization (IVF), recognized through support, stabilization, and empowerment of the individual through all the emotional phases they go through. The IVF process is often lengthy, uncertain, and emotionally draining, and it is very important to maintain psychological balance.
Emotional support runs through the empowerment of one’s capacity to cope with uncertainty and stress, by recognizing and regulating the most common blocking emotions: anger, jealousy, guilt, and shame.
The IVF process itself can also cause tension in the relationship, a sense of misunderstanding, and different reactions to failure, where the therapist helps couples reconnect and function as a team.
Key areas and space for the psychologist’s work from the CBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy) perspective include working on recognizing automatic thoughts and irrational beliefs.
The most common and powerful beliefs are:
“I must get pregnant, otherwise I’m not worthy as a woman/man.”
“It’s terrible if I fail.”
“I can’t handle another failure.”
These are often the cause of overwhelming emotions of despair, shame, self-contempt, fear, guilt, depression, etc.
By identifying these and similar irrational thoughts with the therapist’s help, the individual gains insight into the connection between thoughts and feelings, as well as into the falseness and unhelpfulness of those thoughts.
Therapy helps to replace these beliefs with rational and flexible thoughts, such as:
“I want to get pregnant, but my identity does not solely depend on that.”
“It’s not easy if I fail, but I can handle it.”
“I can move forward even when it’s hard.”
Special attention is paid to building emotional resilience, greater frustration tolerance, i.e., the ability to deal with uncertainty and reality without denial and over-emotionalizing.
The psychoeducational character of this therapy contributes to developing self-regulation capacity, i.e., a psychological space within the person that supports them and allows them to feel safe and stable.
The role of the psychologist and psychoeducation in empowering the individual during the process of family planning and conscious parenthood is the foundation of a healthy individual, family, and society as a whole.
Author: Olivera Cerović, psychologist and REBT therapist